Thursday, 26 March 2009

Axel Lifter attacks secret missile base.

Rogue Hexham flyer Axel Lifter had a bit of an incident the other week. Axel, major purchaser of Chris Foss products, owned a 'Wots Wot'. This aerobatic bi-plane was proving a bit of a handful and was often seen terrorising the field on the edge of control. In an effort to tame this beast, Axel had come across a product promising to keep his wayward plane straight and level whenever he didn't intervene (a happier state of affairs for all at the field!). This 21st century product named after fictional rogue computer HAL, was duly fitted and after some brief testing arrived at Hexham field.

The weather on the day of the test flight was unusually benign, just the gentlest of WNW breezes and warm sunshine. Axel placed the 'Wots Wot' on the runway and took off. The yellow plane climbed to 400ft AGL and levelled out. It was as Axel attempted to turn back towards the field that events started to take a sinister turn (or not turn in this case). Bystanders swear that they heard an artificial voice say 'I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that' . Axel's face turned ashen as the model failed to respond to his frantic stick twiddling and carried on in a steady WNW direction, beautifully straight and level.

To the north west of Hexham field, alarms sounded and screens flashed up warnings at the Shovelmadman missile base. There was an unidentified aircraft flying into their restricted airspace at 400ft! Two Tornado's were scrambled to intercept. Despite incessant radio calls, the unidentified aircraft would not respond.

Squadron Leader Narra taking aim

Above Hadrian's Wall, the Tornado's caught up with Axel's wayward model. Realising that an air to air missile launch might be a little over the top on this occasion, Squadron Leader Narra, decided to tip the tiny airframe with his wing vortex. Flying by fast and close the upset air would cause the craft to tumble to the ground. Unfortunately HAL was having none of it and corrected every change of attitude immediately. After several passes had failed to have any adverse impact, Narra decided on desperate measures. Now passing over the luxury resort of Gilsland Spa, Narra opened fire with his 27mm Mauser cannon. On the second attempt, the OS 60 engine was separated from the airframe. The little craft fluttered to the ground in a corn field just west of the Spa. Squadron Leader Narra swears that just before the model struck the ground he heard a metallic voice in his earphones say, 'just what do you think you're doing, Dave?'

The HAL system before meeting Terra Firma!

Ripmax have issued the following statement concerning the HAL 2100;

We recommend that a Throttle Failsafe is installed in every aircraft with a HAL 2100 AutoPilot fitted. Because HAL will return the aircraft to straight & level flight in the absence of pilot control inputs, if radio contact is broken between the Transmitter and Receiver, the model could potentially continue to fly until it ran out of fuel! Or worse!

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

BFMA Safety Notice

Concern is growing as to the long term effects of exposure to high frequency radiation. The proximity of the transmitter aerial in front of the face whilst flying has raised particular concern. As a result the BFMA in conjunction with MacGregor have developed an alternative antennae arrangement suitable for 2.4 GHz users. It may be a condition of the BFMA insurance that this CE approved antennae is used at all times.